Nothing?

I woke up this morning at 6:00 to feed my baby, then couldn't go back to sleep because my brain was working overtime. Oh what, now I don't even remember. But I do know that now that I have started this journal, thoughts and feelings that have been kept pushed aside seem to be flooding the forefront of my brain.

There is a quote that I have not forgotten since the days I was doing Weight Watchers:

"Nothing tastes as good as thin feels."

Say that again, slowly.

It is a good quote. Motivating? Maybe.

Here is my thought. Yes it is good to remember that mantra, if you will, when you are ready to start maintaining your healthy and desired weight. But as one who doesn't remember the "thin" feeling, I can give a list of things that taste incredibly yummy that trumps that quote. (but I won't)

I came across some pictures from when I was engaged, and had traveled to meet my in-laws. I looked good. I was at a very healthy weight for my age/height. Did I feel "thin?" Probably not. As I mentioned before, weight has been a sensitive issue for me for a very long time. (since 4th grade...)

So, when I eat something yummy (and I LOVE to cook, then eat what I cook) I can't remember what I never felt. That quote above does nothing for me. So, I'm not going to apply it until I get "there."

I should quickly say that I have no problem with Weight Watchers. I have been on their program twice, until hitting the longest-lasting plateau and decided to save my money. Every (healthy) weight-loss program has many good things to learn and apply.

Oh, I also should have been more specific with the acronym PCOS. It stands for:
Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome (yes, a girl thing)

My main symptoms:
- I never had regular menstrual cycles; maybe 4 a year.
- minor infertility (but I now have 3 beautiful children)
- rapid weight gain (my body fights to keep it on... I am fighting back)
- high blood sugar & cholesterol (completely and naturally controlled by exercise)
- skin tags (weird, but true)
- a bit more dark hair than I would like

There are many other symptoms, but those don't or didn't apply to me. And to make a long story short in terms of being diagnosed, I went through 2 doctors, a pharmacist specializing in hormone therapy, and an Endocrinologist until I found an amazing doctor who was current in her studies. It took about 3 years, tons of blood work, and a few misdiagnoses until I finally had a name for what had taken control of my body.

PCOS.